


Your Father Would Have Been Proud

by AshynnaStarlight



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternative Universe - Fili and Kili Lives, Death, F/M, Next Generation, Sorrow, Thorin Died, Thorin's Children - Freeform, post-BotFA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 15:24:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3452174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshynnaStarlight/pseuds/AshynnaStarlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A one-shot based on the imagine submitted by anonymous on the imaginexhobbit blog. Imagine having given birth to Thorin’s child after he died, and years later seeing your child being crowned Ruler of Erebor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Father Would Have Been Proud

**Author's Note:**

> I usually don't write stuff like this, but when I saw the imagine, my plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone till I had written it. Inspiration also came from the following songs;  
> Broken Crown - Mumford and Sons  
> Centuries - Fall Out Boys  
> Warriors - Imagine Dragons

_A scream-like wail pierced the sky. Bone-chilling in its rage and agony. Heart-breaking in its strength and reason._

_His blood was already drying on my skin, his body cooling down. I screamed and wailed, cursing the Gods for taking him away from me. Cursing myself for not having been able to save him._

_My tears burned my cheeks as I rocked back and forward, holding him in my arms. I begged the Gods to give him back and take me instead. He didn’t deserve this. He had finally taken back his home. How could Mahal be so cruel?_

_Another soul-shattering scream ripped through the air, joined swiftly by its twin. His nephews ran towards us, screaming and begging, pleading the Gods for their uncle to still be alive._

_They clung to his body, crying and begging me to tell their uncle that it wasn’t funny. That he had to wake up. I was unable to speak, unable to answer, overwhelmed by my own grief._

_Others found us soon after, their cries of pain and disbelief joining us. The pain was indescribable, like a noose around my neck as I buried my face in my husband’s chest – his blood staining my face. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t fair._

_One of the boys had buried his face in my hair, holding on to me for dear life. I looked up, meeting Dwalin’s eyes – the same agony that hollowed my heart darkened his eyes. Defeat. Loss. Pain. Sorrow._

_Something died in all of us that day. A wound that would never truly heal._

_I stood between the boys, holding their hands as we laid him to rest amongst his ancestors and people. I was unable to cry, all my tears had been spend on that accursed frozen lake. There was nothing in my heart but death and emptiness._

_I had been a wife and queen for less than a week. Now I was a widow and a dowager queen. The two young dwarrows at my side kept me from either tearing out my hair or take up arms and go on a suicide mission. The last thing they needed was to lose another person they loved._

_Thranduil and Bard came towards me, their faces solemn. I squeezed the boys’ hands as I felt them bristle, sorrow making their tempers rise much quicker. Fighting and arguing wouldn’t bring_ him _back._

_The two Kings went down on their knees before us, presenting the Arkenstone – that accursed stone – and Orcist to me, telling me how sorry they were for my loss._

_No matter the animosity between my late husband and them, they meant it. They both had lost their wives. They knew the emptiness I was feeling right now._

_I inclined my head regally, accepting the two items and walked up to my late husband, my feet feeling like lead. I had cleaned him, washed his hair. Balin and Dwalin had helped me dress him, preparing him to re-join his kin in the Halls of Mandos._

_It looked as if he was sleeping, would wake up any moment. But he would not. Never again I’d see those silver eyes glare at me or see them sparkle with merit. Never again would he argue with me, calling me wench or tease me and call me_ hisghisvashel _. He’d never hold me in his arms again and tell me all about Erebor, talking about our future together._

_I closed my eyes, trying to hold it together. I needed to stay strong. There were people depending on me. One of us needed to remain strong and steadfast, to be their rock in these trying times. I placed Orcrist on his chest, folding his hand around the hilt. I placed the Arkenstone on his chest._

_You didn’t deserve this. You were supposed to rule, supposed to rebuild Erebor with me at your side. You were supposed to be happy._

_I took a shuddering breath and started to sing while holding his ice cold hand. For some odd reason, my voice didn’t crack or waver. It resonated through the Halls, strong and solemn._

_The last word echoed through the Halls as I blinked rapidly. I stroked his hair soft, leaned forward and pressed my lips against his one last time._

_“I’ll see you soon,_ shehk ma shieraki anni _,” I murmured low, a lonely tear rolling down my cheek. I straightened and turned back to the others, my eyes widened when I saw there were tears running down cheeks._

_Fíli walked towards me and pulled me into a fierce hug. I felt him shake, and I held him tightly against me. I saw Kíli stare us, pain and longing in his eyes. He joined us when I held my hand out to him, and I hugged them both._

_We had to get through this. Somehow. Someway._

_It seemed the Gods weren’t done mocking and torturing me yet. I found out that I was with child. I carried_ his _child. Talk about a cruel world._

_Fíli was the heir, because_ he _didn’t had any children of his own. However, that had just changed. The child was legitimate as I was queen…queen dowager. This was a royal mess, no pun intended._

_I told Fíli, Balin, and Gandalf. They had all been shocked. I hadn’t recovered from the news yet either._

_To my surprise, it was Fíli who recovered first; rejecting his rightful place as King Under The Mountain immediately. For the first time since we met, we argued. The throne was his and rightfully so. I wasn’t going to take that away from him_

_Balin stepped in, stopping our argument from becoming ugly. He told me that if I gave birth to a son, he would have more right to be King than Fíli. He would have to become the next King._

_My child hadn’t even been born yet, and it may already be King. I touched my belly softly._ I need you, my love. I couldn’t do this alone _._

_Gods help me._

I watched my son as he fussed with his ceremonial robes. He looked a bit lost at me, begging for help with his eyes. I walked towards him, helping him as he smiled down sheepish at me.

          “I’ve no idea how you and Uncle Fíli tolerate wearing these things,” he told me with a wry tone. I smiled and stroked his bearded cheek motherly.

          “The knowledge that it is just temporally helps,” I told him sagely, and he smiled boyish at me. My sweet darling boy. At times like this, he looked so much like his cousin Kíli. Just a young boy.

          He dropped his smile, standing tall and the sight squeezed my heart like it always did.

          _It is as if I’m  looking at my brother when he does that_. Dis’ words echoed through my head. She was right. Vael looked so much like his father, both in personality and looks.

          He was still his own person though. He smiled much easier, brood much less and barely had any temper. His nose and ears were smaller, he was taller, all and all a handsome young man.

          I had tried my best to raise him right, as care-free as I could. He had the right of a happy and stress-free childhood, something his father never had – nor had I, truthfully.

          “Thank you, _amad_.’ He rested his forehead against mine, as if he had read my mind somehow. “You’ve done so much for me.”

          “Hush, _jalan anni_ , there is no need to thank me. I’m your mother.” I smiled as I looked into those painfully similar silver-blue eyes. “It’s what mothers do, and I gladly do it.”

          Before he could say more, the door opened, and a whirlwind of fabrics and silver hair barrelled in.

          “Mother! I need help!” Vael and I stared at Enya – her cheeks flustered, her hair wild, and half-dressed – before laughter escaped our lips.

          My daughter huffed annoyed while narrowing her pale lilac eyes at us. “Not funny!”

          “It’s a little bit,” Vael teased his twin, and she snarled low in answer. Vael may not have inherited much of his father’s or my temper, but his sister got it in spades.

          They squabbled as I walked towards my daughter and helped her straighten her clothes – ignoring the sneers they shot good-naturally at each other. I thought I’d never laugh again or feel some form of happiness. Vael and Enya had saved me, giving me a reason to keep on living. If not for them, I would have faded away decades ago.

          For forty years, Fíli and I ruled Erebor as co-regents, working together to rebuild Erebor and hold it together till Vael was of age. It had been hard at times, dealing with the Elves and Men. Don’t get me started on the other dwarves.

          However, they had underestimated the viciousness of a mother when she had a child to protect. There was little I wouldn’t do to make sure my family, what was left of it, was safe. Fíli and I hadn’t stood alone though. The Company had our back, and Dis had been a terrifying, but powerful ally – she had become a close friend as well. Even so, my ruthlessness and strength gained admiration and respect in the end – and the title Iron Dowager Queen.

          I didn’t care for titles, as long my children were alive and happy. I smiled fondly at my daughter. Vael looked like the spitting image of his father, but she had taken after me. My Moon and Sun.

          “Hold onto the pillar,” I instructed her, cutting their bantering short. She did what I asked of her, wrapping her arms tightly around the pillar. “Vael, pull on the strings,” I instructed as I made sure the corset was positioned properly.

          Enya gasped for air when Vael pulled with his considerable strength, tightening the corset. “How am I expected to breathe in this?”

          “You aren’t,” I answered dryly, Vael suppressing his snicker as his sister whined loudly. “Now sit down so I can work on your hair,” I ordered as I grabbed my brush.

          Vael flopped down in a chair as Enya sat down on the stool. “Ouch,” she whined as I started to comb the mess that was her hair. I rolled my eyes with faint amusement while she complained as I tried to comb out the knots in her hair.

          “What did you do? Wrestled with orcs?” I chided her gently as Vael smirked lightly, watching amused.

          “No! It just got tangled…auw, _amad_! Are you trying to scalp me?” she whined loudly as I was working on a particularly nasty knot.

          “If I was, sweetling, you’d be screamer louder,” I retorted dryly and continued with my task on getting her more presentable. Moments like this made me forget the part I missed deep inside of me.

          It never lasted long. This shouldn’t be happening. My son was just forty. He shouldn’t have to become King yet. They shouldn’t have had to grow up without their father. It wasn’t right. We should have lived a long life together, making memories…

          “ _Amad_?” Vael asked carefully, Enya looking back worried to me. I pushed a smile on my face as I was pulled out of my dark thoughts.

          “Yes, Vael?” I asked as I braided Enya’s hair in a complicated regal way. I looked at my son when he stayed quiet, but he shook his head with a little smile.

          I returned to fixing Enya’s hair which didn’t take me long. Years of practice had come in handy. The whole time I could feel Vael’s eyes on me, feel his tension as if it was my own. “Enya, you go ahead.” Enya merely nodded, kissing my cheek and giving her brother a tight hug. She whispered something in his ear that made him smile and hopped off. I always wondered where she got that energy from. Not from me.

          I walked to my son and cupped his face in my hands, inspecting him serenely. “Your father would be proud of you,” I told him, and his eyes started to water

          “You think so, _amad_?” He looked so young, so vulnerable.

          “I _know_ for sure. He watches over us from the Halls of Mandos, chest puffed like a proud peacock.” I smiled motherly. “He loves you so much, jalan anni. You and your sister. You two would have been his most precious treasures.”

          He smiled at that, knowing how much dwarrows value treasure. He hugged me tight, relaxing in my arms. “You will be a good King, Vaelaryon. No, not good. A _great_ one.”

          Before I could say more, there was a knock on the door, and Kíli peaked his head into the room.

          “We are ready.”

 

I felt oddly at peace as I watch Enya walk down the aisle with her brother’s crown on a pillow. She gave Fíli and me a little smile which I returned it with a small nod. She stood a step below us, and everyone stood up when the horns echoed through the halls.

          I felt such pride, standing tall as I watched _my son_ walk toward the dais. He looked solemn, walking proudly and surely. His heavy footfall echoed through the Halls, and they all bowed to him.

          You would be so proud of him, my love. He will bring prosperity and honour to Erebor.

          It was almost as _he_ stood beside me. If I would close my eyes right now, I would be able to imagine his warm hand on my shoulder. I swallowed as I pushed away the sad feelings. Not on this day. This was a day of joy and pride.

          Vael climbed the steps of the dais, his eyes meeting mine, and I gave him an encouraging little nod. It seemed to relax him as he went down on one knee before Fíli and me. I tried not to smile as Fíli puffed his chest, trying not to grin like a mad man. I could feel the pride radiating off him and the relief to hand over the burden we had carried for forty years.

          All were quiet as Fíli spoke, making Vael swear an oath to Mahal and his people. Vael recited the words perfectly, his voice never wavering or breaking. Enya beamed elated, her eyes twinkling.

          After he had made his oath, she stepped towards me, and I lifted the crown from the pillow. It was a newly forged crown as the Raven Crown was buried with _him_. This one was made of dragons as reference to his lineage and what had been defeated to take back Erebor. It was also a reminder what greed could summon.

          I stood before my son and was about to place the crown upon his head, when time almost seemed to stand still. I lifted my gaze and saw a dwarrow male staring back at me.

          _He_ stood there, beaming with pride as there was an enormous smile on his face. I felt my heart clench as _h_ e nodded to me, his eyes gentle and warm.

          “ _I love you_ ,” _he_ mouthed to me, and my eyes burned. “ _Soon_ ,” _he_ added soft, warmth in his eyes.

          I blinked, and _he_ was gone. I was pulled back into reality as I gazed down at my sweet beloved boy. _Yes, we will see each other again soon, my love. But first I need to crown your son_.

          Vael closed his eyes for a moment when I placed the crown upon his head, something settling in my chest. He opened his eyes again, and I smiled at him before turning to the crowd. It has taken forty years, but the time had finally come.

          “ _All Hail Vaelaryon, son of Thorin, King Under The Mountain_!”

**Author's Note:**

> amad - mother (Khuzdul)
> 
> ghivashel - treasure of treasures (Khuzdul)
> 
> shekh ma shieraki anni - my sun and stars (Dothraki)
> 
> jalann anni - my moon (Dothraki)


End file.
